Around 900 kilometers on the autobahn today and what a drag.

When did we all start to believe that an autobahn was the ultimate in hi speed automobile travel?.

Let me draw you a picture of the real life on the Road to Nowhere.

It's on two lanes for a start. The inside lane is a wall of steel with container trucks travelling at 60 miles per hour, while on the the outside lane there is a war going on at 100 miles per hour. When two motorways meet, the speed differential means that everything stops.

Rules for travelling extemely fast on the Autobahn.

1. Get a Eurocruiser. Skudi/Beamer/Merc being the preferred model and black being the preferred colour.

2. Put you foot down to the floor

3. Don't stop.

4. If you pull up behind a lesser mortal who is travelling at around 90, as you inevitably will, try to get as close as you can, around one meter is good.

5. Flash Headlamps.

6. If you look in you mirror - you should do this about once an hour - you'll see a black Eurocruiser sitting about a meter from your back bumper. Ignore it, 'cause he's got one behind him too.

7. You must have
Gotterdammerung playing on stereo at full volume.


Am I getting too old for this?