If the sub-text were ever articulated it would sound worse than it is so the short telephone call to announce our intended visit and to given plenty of time to give the house a bit of an airing and any necessary tidying never includes the line, "the forecast's a bit grim today so we thought we'd come and see you". But it seems sensible not to spend a sunny day driving to Castlemilk and then sitting in the still smoky atmosphere of the parents.

The large about of baccy delivered - rolls up for Da and pre-formed smokes for Mum - guaranteed a warm welcome. Some say they shouldn't be encouraged but with 60 years of fag-sooking behind them, it seems unlikely that any major health benefits would derived by stopping and it's not like refusing to supply cheap Euro-fags would dent their consumption. So the best outcome is that they smoke cheaply without also contributing to people-trafficking and other forms of organised crime.

Leaving at 5pm was a bit of a mistake but we'd forgotten it was Friday so we caught the queues from the traffic leaving Glasgow and the queues on the Bridge. Luckily we'd had a McTea on the way out of Glasgow but the absence of starving children was offset by the presence of two needing to pee on the hard shoulder of the M9 spur.