Workinonit

by J Dilla


O'Coco's Organic Baked Chocolate Crisps
Submitted by Melissa Sampson

Last Monday, exactly twenty-six 0.7-ounce bags of O'Coco's Organic Baked Chocolate Crisps were bestowed upon me by two obnoxiously cheery sample-passer-outers who wandered into my store from off the street. "Only 90 calories! Just 2 grams of fat!" they chirped, while rapidly shoveling little pink-and-orange bags onto the counter. They took my picture in front of the pile before waving and prancing out the door, leaving me in a confused daze and with a shitload of organic chocolate crisps. I shoved the twenty-six little packages into a shopping bag and put them in the break room for anyone brave enough to try some.

A few hours later, with lunch all too far away, that brave person was me. I mean, chocolate is delicious, and organic stuff is good for the environment and all that jazz, and these are certified USDA organic. Combining these elements and adding a delightful crunch has got to create a halfway decent snack, right?

These flat, oblong-shaped crisps have a texture that could be described as Wheat Thin-like but more bubbly. They're sprinkled with what appears to be sugar, but sugar isn't listed as an ingredient. The ingredient that most resembles sugar is salt. So I'm fairly certain they're sprinkled with salt. Brown, organic salt. When you bite one, the texture seems less like a Wheat Thin and more like a crunchy piece of cardboard. They taste like cardboard sprinkled with cocoa powder and brown organic salt.

"Perhaps this choco-cardboard is an acquired taste," I thought as I tried another. I eventually finished all six or so crisps in the little bag, but they didn't get better. The reactions of my co-workers have been varied, ranging from "These really suck" to "These kinda suck."