A Few Questions That I Need To Know

Why, a full 6 weeks before Christmas, Marks and Sparks is rammed full of middle aged women panic buying mince pies and Irish cream liqeur with all the fervour of a man preparing for a nuclear holocaust?

At what age does mounting the pavement and hitting a fence qualify as a successfully executed 3 point turn?

Why my child insists on screaming for the 90% of any car journey then falls asleep five minutes before we arrive home, only to recommence the screaming when she is lifted from her car seat and awoken from her slumber?

How children manage to figure out that you are hoping for a quiet grown up evening and turn in to demonic harpies intent on staying up till the bottle of wine you have chilling in the fridge shifts from recreational to medicinal?

Why people insist on parking just that little bit too close to the car for me to be able to load two small children? Do they not see the car seats? Do they not like their paint job unblemished?

Why shop assistants seem to think I might be interested in stopping to sample perfume/make-up/hand cream etc. The tantruming four year old and gurning baby would be answer enough for most people.

How Abigail can say she is not hungry and less than ten minutes later have demolished half a dozen sausage rolls?

How my husband can find 3 hours to play Champ yet still be too busy to put his boxers in the wash basket or empty the bin?


Maybe I'll find the answers in here.


PS. I know the title is appallingly bad English but it is in keeping with the recent musical theme. Bet you've all now got the song stuck in your head too.