B's mom is going to knit me a shawl for Christmas. I am so excited that I have been looking all over the net for an exciting but fun shawl and then try to find amazing wool to go with it. So fun.

We went shopping at the outlets in Toronto today. Not so fun. Picked over and way too many people as always. I don't think I enjoy the Christmas season so much when Mom isn't around. Dad was never one for Christmas. I bought him a gift for his birthday now onto Christmas. Gah.

Dreamt about my mom again. She always dies at the end. I know it will happen and it doesn't bug me but today her best friend died too. And I really like this lady. I worry about her too. It's Christmas... I worry about everyone.