If you want to buy me chocolate...

... please don't buy me Cadburys. (Or anything by Nestle but that goes without saying.)

I realised something today. I love chocolate, don't get me wrong. I even enjoy the odd cadburys milk chocolate confection. (Milk chocolate just isn't my favourite, that's all.)

(Before I go any further, this pic was taken this morning at the play park - it's Nat, we went out to see him and his parents there, and they came back to ours for coffee. It's always good to catch up and spend time with them :) More here including a lovely portrait of Steve. Don't get that many, he usually pulls a silly face!)

But it's finally (finally!) dawned on me that I don't like chocolate binging. And the problem is that there is a lot of chocolate out there and you can get a lot of chocolate for your money these days.

Now here's the real problem - I'm diabetic. And too much chocolate is seriously bad for me. You should see the amount of chocolate and biscuits we have in our house still and it's what, 10 days or so since Christmas now. And I've not been going easy on eating them either. I've been very very bad. And I'm counting the cost already, I know when my sugars are too high for too long, I don't feel great in myself. I need to get my sugars more under control before getting pregnant again, I don't want to jeopardise anything.

The other big problem is my lack of self-control so maybe it's not a bad thing to have all this chocolate around because I could just start training myself to have better self-control and not eat it. At all. I don't see the point in eating it a bit at a time, just for a chocolate fix. I need to get over that addiction. It's really not good for me.

For what it's worth I'm going to call the diabetes centre tomorrow and talk about going back onto insulin. I know the drugs I'm on at the moment aren't working as effectively as they were to begin with, by any stretch of the imagination. I guess it's time to face the needles again, for a time. *sigh*

I'd much prefer some really incredibly gorgeous chocolates and only a handful. A small handful. That I can really enjoy, and savour. And not get fat or spotty or poorly from eating too much!

Ah. Rant over.

In other news, I bought a hat today. And I failed to take a decent sp showing it off so that's another thing that's going to have to wait another day! It's pink though. I'm impressed at myself ;)

Thank goodness for January. This month is a month to not spend any more money than absolutely necessary (so no trips out to coffee shops booooo), eat sensibly and properly, keep wrapped up and warm and not have the thermostat turned up too high, go for walks, take pictures, play in the park, go to the beach. Try not to waste anything, including time. Only a resolution for a month. After that, well maybe I'll set a different target. Loosen up a little, allow some treats. But hopefully if I manage a month of spending less, maybe it'll create a new habit that I can work with. I need to get our finances under control as much as I need to get my blood sugars under control as much as I need to get my eating habits under control.