Who knew?

By InOtherNews

Not a statue of me

but something I had considered for my 100th blip. This is stood proud outside the incoln Imp pub on the Ermine Estate in Lincoln. Whats it like? I hear you ask. I have no idea, this pub isn't the sort an educated fellow like me walks into. If you pull a student card here then your going to end up with some serious bruising and a battered ego. You might acquire a nice puncture wound somewhere around the abdomen to.

Even the Imp looks odd, and whats with the yellow and red colours? The Imps are red and white, the yellow looks a bit 'Lidl', 'Aldi' or 'Netto'. Actually theres a point, do all rubbish supermarkets have to have yellow in the logo? Oh no I forgot, Iceland. Anyway I digress. The Imp here has been painted all manner of colours in the past, mainly variations of red and white. I wanted to snap this from another angle but the other side has a big crack across the word Imp. No jokes intended there.

I signed up to do a NVQ level three in Advice and Guidance today. The fun never stops. They gave me a numeracy and literacy level one test to do.... a bit like giving a child some crayons and asking him to draw on the wall. I spotted four errors in the questions as I went through and pointed them out like a proper smart arse to my assessor. I can imagine my 'guided learning hours' are going to be a bit tougher now I've been earmarked as a 'clever little sh1t'.

I was also informed that technically GCSE's only last five years before they are invalid! They don't tell you that when you're slaving away over endless textbooks do they? I'm glad I went to watch Streetfighter at the cinema now the night before my first exam. Actually I'm not, like all Jean Claude Van Damme films it was utter garbage.

I was actually incandescent with rage earlier (well I was mildly perturbed but incandescent is such a cool word. So is Shrubbery. Go on, say it out loud now. Shrubbery. It's a proper joy) because the Red Arrows were out practising while I drove about. By the time I safely pulled over they had ceased their playtime and landed those magnificent planes. I have to capture them soon, maybe a better zoom lens is in order. I once went to Welton summer fete and there was a massive commotion because the Red Arrows were going to be there. Everyone was quivering with anticipation: and then five guys in jeans and jackets turned up. Those guys might have some serious ability behind the wheel (maybe not, do planes have wheels?) of a Red jet plane, but as entertainment on their own they interest me as much as Kerry Katonas latest diet (lets face it four years of cocaine abuse should lead to a better figure).

I thinks thats me today. I do however want to share two things with you. If I were having a dinner party I'd like these guys to be there: Bruce Parry who is simply the best thing ever to be shown on the BBC (BBC2 on a Sunday 9pm). His show lst night trying to show the other side of whaling was handled superbly, sensitively and objectively. The other is a man of two sides, the bad and the sublime (footy fans only I think for this one, and he might be french and he might have been a cheating scumbag Manc but I liked him anyway). Eric Cantona you are a living legend.

Random I know but hey ho. I'd also like Pete Doherty there but don't wanna get too heavy on the links.

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