Happy Burns Day

Dedicated to Sam above the chamion wind passer!

Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
> >>> >> Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
> >>> >> As ye sit doon amongst yer kin
> >>> >> There sterts tae stir an enormous win'
> >>> >> The neeps an' tatties an' mushy peas
> >>> >> Stert workin' like a gentle breeze
> >>> >>
> >>> >> But soon the puddin' wi' the sonsie face
> >>> >> Will have ye blawin' a' ower the place.
> >>> >> Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
> >>> >> A'body's gonnae have tae pay
> >>> >> Even if ye try tae stifle
> >>> >> It's like a bullet oot o' a rifle
> >>> >>
> >>> >> Hawd yer bum tight tae the chair
> >>> >> Tae try an' stop the leakin' air
> >>> >> Shift yersel fae cheek tae cheek
> >>> >> Pray tae God it disnae reek.
> >>> >> But aw yer efforts gan asunder
> >>> >> Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder
> >>> >>
> >>> >> Ricochets aroon' the room
> >>> >> Michty me! A sonic boom
> >>> >> God Almighty, it fairly reeks!
> >>> >> Hope I huvnae **** me breeks!
> >>> >> Tae the bog I'd better scurry,
> >>> >> Ach, whit the hell, it's no ma worry.
> >>> >>
> >>> >> A'body roon aboot me chokin'
> >>> >> Yin or twae were nearly bokin'
> >>> >> I'll feel better for a while
> >>> >> Cannae help but raise a smile.
> >>> >> Wis him! I shout with accusin' glower,
> >>> >> Alas! Too late! He's just keeled ower
> >>> >>
> >>> >> Ye dirty bugger, they shout and stare
> >>> >> A didnae feel welcome ony mair
> >>> >> Where e're ye be let yer wind gan free
> >>> >> Sounds like just the job for me
> >>> >> Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party
> >>> >> Ower the sake o' one wee farty.