Ooooooooh

Oooooooooh Oooo Oooo Oooooooooooh Ooooooooooooooooh, it's been one of those days.

Just. One. Of. Those. Days.

The kind of day where tomorrow just promises to be better.

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Our son had to learn a very hard lesson today. Along with turning 5, came a new sense of independence in him that is wonderful, but not when he is acting defiant. And this is what we have been dealing with for the last several weeks. The "please don't do that" and then watching him turn around and do it.

Today something had to be done because I don't want this little streak to turn habit for him. He is far too sweet and thoughtful and funny and endearing for a defiant streak turned phase.

And I wasn't sure that I was going to write about this one but I think I will just for the learning lesson that he can read back on someday. He had visited time out too frequently today so we sat down and had a big talk. I laid out some new ground rules and made them very clear and very specific. If he was going to make the choice not to listen today, then he was going to stand in a specific time out spot in the front room. If he could not handle staying in the perimeters of that specific time out spot for his five minutes, then one of his Star Wars ships would be donated to the Goodwill.

I had to go that route. Putting toys in time out was long since not working and he needed a wake up call. He needed to know that this defiant behavior is not going to be tolerated. So I explained it to him. We went over it and over it. Over it again. I role played it with both of the kids just as I would have done with my class when I was teaching. He got it. He had clear boundaries.

Well long story short, he made a choice that landed him in the new time out zone. And then he made the choice to not stick with the new time out zone guidelines. So I had to follow through. I had to. For his sake and for his growth, I had to follow through. So I picked one of his Star Wars ships and told the kids that we were headed to the Goodwill. He was not thrilled but he wasn't worried either. We got in the car and I pulled into the Goodwill Drop-off. Then he knew I was serious. I told my son that he needed to look the man in the eye and tell him why he was donating his toy today.

So here is how that went:

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The man: Hi, how are you doing there?!

My son: I am here to give you my toy because I haven't been following the rules at my home and I haven't been listening to my Mommy and I would like another boy to be able to have this toy when he listens to his Mommy.

The man: Oh, well......well thank you.

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Me to my son: How did that feel?

My son to me: Kinda not good. Kinda maybe like the worst time ever.

But, he was calm. I could tell that he understood. He was not mad at me or angry that he had to give his toy away. He had accepted it. So we continued to talk and talk and talk about rules and why they are so important. And he wanted to know what happens when grown-ups break the rules and etc. etc. And the thing is, he gets it. I know he gets it. He needed this experience as his own personal reminder. I have strong memories of when my parents made me face my consequences and yes, I hated it. I didn't like it at all. But I respected my parents for guiding me in the right direction. Some might agree or disagree with this consequence but I've always felt that owning up to something was always the right thing to do. And I was proud of how he handled the 'donation' today.

And the blip, well the blip is of us planting tulips. We needed a good outside activity so we planted tulips. And we got muddy and the tulips are planted a bit rough considering the kids did a lot of it (I kept having to dig my daughter's up when she wasn't looking because she always planted the entire container). But it was fun and hopefully it isn't too late for them to bloom.