Sad.

"when I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be."

Too much happened today. Im sad.

It was my friend's funeral today. I had booked the day off for a week. I got a late night text last night saying that one of the girls wouldnt make it to work. I had to go to work. I tried to move people around so I might be able to go to the funeral, and even though I explained to one lady, she wasnt for moving, so I had to stay at work. I have never felt so guilty. Im young. My friends don't just die. I think he was the first, and I couldnt even make his funeral. I felt myself getting emotional on the way to work on the bus, And came to the conclusion that would be even more confirmed as the day went on. The only person you can rely on in life is yourself.

As the day went on, I text hubby, who was at the funeral. He didnt reply. I text once or twice again, and it became apparent to me, that he was at the wake, having a beer with his friends. I would not have minded this, had I been there to pick up the wee one from the babysitters, (our neighbour) he didnt pick her up. I was at work, a busy day that I couldnt leave, and he wasnt there. I had to pick her up at 6, when he told her he would be back at 1. He is an amazing Dad. He always has been. This just doesnt happen. I have no idea what has come over him. So hurt.

my photo is the wee one, making a card, for my friend, the one that died. I told her a story about him. He was a nice man, he was a bit of a hippy, and took out one of his hairs when I was pregnant, and hung a ring from it. He hung the ring over my bump, and predicted that I would have a girl. I always remembered that, and he was the only person that thought I was having a girl.

The wee one decided to make a card for "my friend" and said "Can you give this to him?" I said "I am sure I could find a way to get it to him" She said " Mummy...." "yes?" "can he fly now....your friend?" I said "My love....now he can do anything he wants."