Awesome

Me: So basically you are awesome. Explain.

Sister 1: Duh! Like, I don't need to explain. How am I not?!!!

(All of us laughing)

Me: Well for one, you should be on Idol.

Sister 1: You haven't even heard me sing.

Sister 2: Yes she has, she heard you sing at my wedding.

Sister 1: Oh yeah, but I was soooo drunk, that doesn't count.

Sister 2: Hmm, true.




Me: So what's your 'claim to fame' song?

Sister 1: Me and Bobby McGee.

Sister 2: Oh I was soooo going to say that.

Sister 1: Yeah, I rocked it at a singing contest and got second place. Bastards! I should have won.

Me: When was this?

Sister 1: Oh years ago. Those bastards robbed me! (laughs)




Me: Now I know that your sister has a 'Happy Place', where is yours.

Sister 1: Wherever hers is. Actually it is wherever I can just sit by myself and sip on a glass of wine. Ha! No, somewhere beautiful and silent. By myself. That is my happy place.




Me: You are an animal, what are you?

Sister 2: Ooooh this is going to be good!

Sister 1: A LION! I am a Tigress.

Sister 2: More like a Black Widow.




Me: What's your best trait?

Sister 1: Oh I don't know, there are soooo many. (laughing)

Sister 2: Caring. She's so caring. I don't have that gene.

Sister 1: Aaah that is so nice (gives her sister a huge smile). My worst trait is that I'm a super flake sometimes. Ha, people are going to read this and think, "This bitch is conceited". Ha ha, I jest. I jest.




(Laughing) Me: Let's talk about cooking.

Sister 1: I did not learn how to cook from my Mother.

Sister 2: Who would you cook for if you could cook for ANYONE?!!!

Sister 1: Anyone???? This is really random but probably Dave Matthews.

Sister 2: Dave Matthews? I think he might be boring.

Sister 1: Boring, how would you know?!




Me: Okay, you are on a 10 hour flight, who would you choose to sit by?

Sister 1: My sister.

Sister 2: Awwwwweeeeee.




Me: Tell me why you love your sister.

Sister 1: We are like BFF's. We make each other laugh. We seriously laugh more than anyone we know. And when we fight, it will last two minutes. Wait, let's back up, you want to know who I'd really like to hang out with?

Me: Who.

Sister 2: Yeah, who?

Sister 1: Nicki Minaj. She's like a back-up singer for everyone and she's nuts. Crazy people are always fun.




Me: That is so true. Okay, now you are the President, what are you going to change?

Sister 1: Oh wow, I am so not political. It wouldn't be anything for real because I prefer to stay ignorant, for reals. I would make like a 'National Kegerator Day'.




Me: What do you want your legacy to be?

Sister 1: I don't know, every time I try to aim big, I get broke down. I guess I'd just want my son to be proud of me. I could give two rips about what anyone else thinks.

Me: Describe your relationship with your son.

Sister 1: Very tight. It used to just be me and him. Me and him against the world. We are very close. He is such a Mama's boy.




Me: Where do you want to be in 10 years?

Sister 1: I would like to be a Judge on the Supreme Court but realistically, I'll probably be working for the State. I want to be able to find something that incorporates my degrees in Criminology and Psychology. And as long as I'm making 4 G's a month and have the potential of being the boss, then I'm good. I don't know if you know this, but I like to be in charge. Oh, can I change who I would like to hang out with?

Me: Yeah, absolutely.

Sister 1: Charlie Sheen. WINNING!