Mandarin

I wish I could say this was a beautiful pond out in
the country... but, alas...it is inside of the Bass Pro Shop again. I had a
liitle time to kill before I picked up my doctor. A pair of
madarin ducks are always in this pond. It makes me wonder if they can
fly at all.
 
It gave me an idea for some of these monster
outdoor stores. Get yourself 10-12 ducks or geese...and just let them have the
run of the place. It would keep the customers on their toes, at the risk of
getting a free haircut from a flying wing. Also...if a bird had an accident
flying over a rack of shirts...you could them offer them at half-off. I can see
the sale sign now..."TAKE A GANDER AT THESE! HALF-OFF! AS-IS!"
 
It just came to me why these 2 mandarin ducks are
so well behaved. It goes back to the first day. Mr. Bass placed them in the
pond, and told them to stay. Everybody at the Grand Opening gushed over how
"cute" they were. The stores open hours came and went. The shoppers shuffled
out. The ducks were alone.
 
The ducks looked at each other like Adam and Eve.
The female asked..."Should we or shouldn't we....have a little look-see? The
male cautioned..."We were told to stay here." She gave him the "look", and off
they flew.
 
They landed first on a whole string of fish...which
they thought were trout. "HEY...RAINBOW MAN...WHAT ARE YOU FELLAS CHASING?" The
fish didn't answer back.
 
The next stop was on the antlers of a giant moose.
"YOU HAVE THE LONGEST LEGS WE HAVE EVER SEEN! HOW'S THE WEATHER DOWN THERE?" The
moose was also speechless.
 
"Let's go see his smaller cousin." They flew off
and landed on a huge buck...but something was amiss. "WHERE IS YOUR BODY? WHAT
HAPPENED TO YOUR LUGGAGE (trunk) AND YOUR LEGS?" The big deer was
mute.
 
The mandarins were now close to panic. They
half-stumbled-half-flew away from the deer, and flew head-first into the grand
daddy of the forest- the mighty grizzly. All 9 foot of him. "Surely you can
tell us what is up with this place. How come nobody will talk to us? The giant
bear gruffly spoke..."DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME SHIRLEY!!!" That's not true. The
bear didn't speak either.
 
The 2 ducks faced each other. "ALL OF THESE ANIMALS
ARE STUFFED! WE ARE THE ONLY LIVING CREATURES IN THIS STORE!

In stunned silence...the 2 ducks waddled back to their pond. They belly-flopped in, and have never left the pond again.