Porcupine Journals - Day 5

"I awoke in a grumpy, frustrated mood this morning. I'm not exactly sure why, but I think it's because Christina is leaving. I don't want to see her go. And I don't know when I will see her again. The two of us are like kindred spirits - sharing so many of the same thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Common vision. Will, has also un-expectantly decided to leave today as well. I'm soon to be alone out here.

I have found I don't like to be alone - not really alone. I need my personal time and space, but I like to be close to other people. To feel like part of a community. Without Christina here I find myself suddenly confronted by all those demons - fear, worry, insecurity, and doubt.

We three walked the shoreline beach of Superior before saying farewell. The somber, overcast sky doesn't help enliven the mood. In reality I only have a handful of days left here before I continue West. One more long and lonely beach to talk is not so bad.

We ate ice-cream cones at a small store outside the Park - the only one for miles and miles. Goodbyes are the worst part of traveling for me, though I'll see Christina again. She is a keeper - a tried and true friend. And so with big hugs I said farewell and walked to the visitor center to rearrange my way out West in light of the flooding that has disrupted the train lines. Now its looking like a grueling combination of buses and a flight to Spokane Washington before I get out to Missoula to teach for the Wild Rockies Field Institute.

I linger at the visitor center reluctant now to return to my lonely cabin and surprisingly hungry for humanity. When I do arrive back I make tea, wash my hair, and start a fire. Learning to love solitude - in small doses."