Rainbows and promises

Yesterday during a bleak moment the sun came out while the rain was hammering down and God broke into my exhaustion and said look for the rainbow - even if you can't see it, remember my promises to you. And, it's never going to be this bad again. You're on the way up now. I'm still looking after you. Going uphill is hard work but it's rewarding, the end is in sight.

Today we saw this! Steve phoned on his way home from work, go into the garden and look East! And there was this fabulous rainbow, we could see both ends of it, and then Ben pointed out the moon as well! He has learnt the appropriate declarations of awe for rainbows such as this one :0)

I've been much better today. Much brighter this morning, coping with things. We had to get up and breakfasted quite early (for us) as we were off to the hospital for my 32 wk growth scan. Ben and mum came with me today. Baby is now measuring two weeks ahead of dates. Which, although still within acceptable limits, is not good really. Ben was a perfect 7.5lbs (3400g) at birth, two weeks early, and he was an assisted delivery. The diabetic antenatal team are a little worried that if baby continues to grow at this rate there will be no option for a natural birth, and I will be booked in for a caesarean so as gentle as they were with me today as they could see how exhausted I was, they were firm as we all agreed I really REALLY needed to get my sugars under control as quickly as possible. They understood what a ridiculous month it had been though and even the consultant obstetrician who normally irritates me said it was easy enough for her to say but I needed to look after myself as well... Well, hopefully now I am at home I can keep a much closer eye on carbs and sugar levels and insulin doses and writing things down. I need to call the diabetic centre on Friday to update them, before my next growth scan in two weeks' time. They're really keeping an eye on me and baby now, even more than usual.

Could get really depressed about it.

But there have been great things about today. Hayley and a friend of hers came round this morning to clean, and they have really cleaned the kitchen! The windowsills are cleaned and arranged, all the food has been put away, the worktops cleaned (again), the dining table has been cleaned and tidied, all the stuff that got put under the dining table for safekeeping has been taken out and cleaned and put away. They worked like troopers, cleaning and sorting and putting things away. (I just need to find things again now!)

Ben and I had a sleepy cuddle this afternoon. The Tired Tummy Ache came back (direct result of Wednesday's drive, it always hits me two days after a long drive) so I took myself off to bed. Ben joined me presently, and so mum and dad were able to get on with other stuff while we slept.

Then it was back to Hayley's for tea again and Steve and I both needed that respite - a break from frustration and pain and all sorts - and a bit of loopiness from the combination of Ben and her kids was (to me anyway) a real tonic.

Home now, blipped the past two days, done some rinsing of cutlery, some washing of towels, some putting of Ben to bed (I nearly got stuck on his bed - the sooner this baby comes AND Ben gets his own room and his bigger bed the better, I don't think there are going to be many more nights where it's physically possible for me to climb into bed with him at night). Steve's got the TV connected and working (a real priority as the rugby is on tomorrow morning). I am fed up with sugar levels. I think it's time for bed.