End of an era

At the birthday party I handed over all of my baby clothes to my brother and sister in law for my niece who is having a baby. I found it so much harder than I thought I would. I know 100 per cent that I want no more babies. 3 feels right and I don't do pregnancy at all well. Baby S is a total dream and it's nice to end my babies on a good one.

Mr R is five today. Hard to believe it feels like forever and no time at all. I gave birth at home so it was strange this morning to recall the moment, in the same place at near enough the same time. He has gone to school with his badge on and Miss I is under strict instructions to give him a birthday hug whenever she sees him.

People close to me are struggling to have their own and they re constantly in my thoughts. I recognise and realise how lucky I am to have three healthy babies who came into this world with relative ease.

Anyway I think the reasons I struggled with the baby clothes is the excitement and anticipation of being pregnant. Picking clothes and choosing names. That's what I am going to miss. My niece as we type is rifling through the three Bin bags of clothes I sent her way. I envy the start of her adventure but I must move onto new ones and let the young ones take my place.

Anyway this outfit is one I kept. All of my babies wore it. It literally overflows with excitement, love, hopes, wishes and fears. I am going to keep it in my dotage and get it out at family occasions far into the future and marvel at how little they all once were. I love them more than I can put into words. They are my pride and joy and they were the best three things me and my husband ever did.

Right enough mushiness I am off to load the dishwasher again.