Throw away the key Your Honour!

The streets just aren't safe anymore- not when there are bad eggs like Barry Shields walking about breaking the law and stealing bacon willy-nilly. I will sleep sounder after May 16th when he will hopefully be incarcerated for a long stretch.

And without wanting to sound like a food snob; if you're going to steal bacon at least steal it from somewhere posh like M&S or Waitrose! I can't imagine that the produce in Iceland is of particularly good quality and is probably pumped full of water and uncomfortably pink.

I love it when little stories like these make the local paper. I can't remember the last time there was a decent story in the East Fife Mail. Oh, no, wait... I do remember! Haha!

east fife maili