This is all your getting today

Let me explain. Last night I attended a family party and I slightly overdid the jager bombs and sambuca chasers for my pints. Vastly overdid actually. So far today I've had to clean the door of Mums car due to my dinner being welded to the side of it with alcohol. I have also had to clean two black handprints from my wall and apologise at least twice. Mum had to drive to the shops as I'm probably still over the limit and apparently I woke mother at least four times whilst chatting to god on the old porcelain megaphone. I don't think Bryher was overly impressed either as I lay around on my bed breaking wind, laughing and occasionally being sick.

It is now official: I'm 33 and can no longer handle my drink. I have to hold my hands up and admit it, I just can't hack the pace anymore. Apparently I was buying drinks for 18 year old girls out of kindness before spending ten minutes explaining I wasn't trying to pull them and introducing them to Fe.

It's bad really. Thankfully I got some expert care from my good lady who kept a steady supply of brufen and water coming, mirrored by some fairly strict treatment to ensure the error of my ways were apparent to me. I'm lucky to have her :)

Mind you it's not like I was sick on her shoes is it? I didn't have a 'Spud from Trainspotting' moment either. Before all the stomach pyrotechnics I actually had a really great night. It was Fe's first official engagement as my significant other at a large family gathering and I took great delight in introducing her to everyone. Even my brother made the 80 mile round trip from Boston.

In other news the phone is ringing. Night y'all.