A Christmas message from Bony

Well here we are at that wondrous time of the year again when we look back over all the disasters and joys of the last twelve months.

May I first say that it is a great honour for you all to have me here before you today. Looking out at some of you now, it's a wonder you can see me at all over that HUGE
*stomach/pudding/turkey/spouse/penis/cat

* delete where appropriate (or not)

There have been many ups and downs this year (especially you in the blue t-shirt with that behind going up and down like a fiddler's elbow at times).

It hasn't been another annus horribilis thank goodness although I expect my cousin Liz in Buck House might disagree. Prince George has been filling his nappies/diapers for England.

I'm quite glad to be a proud Scottish skeleton far removed (very far removed) from all that.

That brings me onto the main event of 2014.

After the Referendum, Scotland still has the same, occasionally mild but sometimes agonising piles.

Yes indeed! Piles in the form of Sassinaks (English) or Taffs (Welsh) and our cousins in the north of Ireland. The south of Ireland of course are part of that single currency lot and haven't been on the same page as us for a while now.

They are a cheap date though as they just send each other the same tatty English ten pound note to save messing about with the Euro! Well I suppose it's the thought that counts. Whoever said that was wrong!

It's a bit of action I want! Save your thoughts for Christmas cards, unless you've sent a picture too of course. Those are the kind of thoughts I relish....

Ooo I drifted off for a moment then!

Anyway, I am sure you have all stuffed the wife and have given the turkey a well deserved glass of wine by now. Hic! Burp! Eat, drink and merry now! You can suffer tomorrow...

Track? My favourite Christmas song with Bing Crosby and David Bowie -
The Little Drummer Boy/Peace On Earth