Trying Hard

Up this morning to get to Steven and Kelly’s. They are selling their flat and had two viewers this morning. I was to be there so Kelly wasn’t on her own as Steven was at work.  Just out the shower and got a text from Steven to say he was finished so no need to go round. I was so annoyed as it was a struggle to get ready after another bad night of tears, cutting and panic attacks.

I got really upset which led to lots of anxious feelings and cutting. Went back to bed for a few hours and slept.

Determined to get out for a bit I went for a tea with my book. I didn’t last long; too upset to be out. Back home and it wasn’t even 2pm. It has been a long day on my own. It’s all just crap and I don’t want to be doing this anymore.