Losing

Losing matches. Losing stuff.

It's been a typical Saturday, which started off with the now mandatory wind and rain first thing, after a couple of lovely days. This weather pattern really is getting beyond a joke now. There was a writing group meeting at lunchtime, where although no writing was done we talked much about the process of writing. The consensus is that writing is an activity from which it is very easy to get distracted. Context is all important. Finding the right physical space is just as important as finding the right head space. I've struggled with both recently but got inspired today.

From there things went rapidly downhill. I cycled over to see Forrest opening the batting against Thackley, to arrive during the fourth over and find the team at 13-4 in response to 125. Forrest had gone for a duck. After all the overnight and morning rain, the pitch was a nightmare to bat on, the ball regularly popping off a length to prove very much unplayable. We recovered a few times but lost wickets every time a bit of hope emerged. We were eventually all out for 104.

Another cloud had been hanging over me all day. I'd not seen my wallet since Thursday evening. I'd scoured the house earlier but to no avail. I convinced myself that it must be at the office, despite having looked for it there on Friday. Just as I left to cycle the couple of miles down the road to Shipley I realised I had a flat. I tried pumping it up but it went down immediately. With cold hands it was an even bigger nightmare to fix than it had been the other night. I eventually managed to get the tire on but in the process must have pinched the tube because I couldn't get any pressure into it. I couldn't face the thought of going through all that again so I decided to walk into Shipley and get the train back. When I got to the office I confirmed what I pretty much knew anyway: that the wallet wasn't there.

On getting home I was able to finally let it go because I had exhausted every possibility. I must have lost it somewhere between the office and home when I cycled back on Thursday evening. There was nothing I could really do. I was just left to curse my absentmindedness and all the loss of time and energy.

Of course, once I finally stopped looking it turned up. I went to get some underwear after taking a bath to try to relax, opened the little draw, and there it was, mocking me. I couldn't believe it. I remain at a total loss to understand how it got there. It had to me but I have absolutely no recollection of it whatsoever. I feel like I'm losing my head.