You're going to do what with that pointy thing?

Picture this. I go to work as normal, at my desk from 7am to get some quality work done. Off to the acupuncture lady for a 9am appointment...

I'll get straight to the point (ha ha!)...conversation somewhat abbreviated...

Her: Take your shirt off and lie down.
Me: Okay *trusting fool*
Her: Is that your nice car outside?
Me: Yes - ow.
Her: Have you had it long?
Me: No - OW - what are you doing to me?
Her: Oh, have you never had this done before. Sorry, I started with the tightest muscle...that's the most painful one I guess...
Me: Well, that's a relief!

Hmmm. Nope, I have never had acupuncture so I didn't know what to expect. First, I didn't expect her to stab me with needles the moment I lay down...where was the warm up? Second, what was with the lighting of matches and setting fire to something - me? I don't know, I was face down and wondering what the hell was going on! Third, what was with sticking pins in my head? And then leaving me to lie there like a pinned animal on a board, wondering when she would be back!??!
And then she gets the sink plunger out and starts sucking up my back. Apparently it's called cupping but it was rather unexpected and very bizarre. Love bite city! Then after a monster deep massage (it was VERY nice though!) she flipped me over and stuck pins in my arms. One made my wedding ring finger go mental and start curling up of it's own accord...eek! Then she sodded off again and told me to relax...seriously lady, are you having a laugh! I was frightened to breathe in case I did some serious pin damage. Then more of the drain unblocker and massage and an hour had passed and she told me to get up...nicely though, cos she was a nice young lady...

...and, hey presto, all the pain was gone and the immobilised joints and muscles were freed!! Seriously, she is like god with needlework and plumbing equipment! I could move my head just about 360 degrees like a flamin owl and I felt like skipping!!

Then she warned me that I might feel very tired. And a bit sore.

Oh, she could not have been any closer to the truth. By the time I got back to work I was nearly comatose. Actually, I felt a bit pissed! And I was interviewing for three hours...I wonder if I made sense! And then the aches started, in my throat and head and all down my back. Apparently this is the release of the crap that was causing my muscles and joint tightness and pain.

I eventually got home from work at 7pm and looked in the mirror. I can move like a 37 year old but I have the most awesome war wounds bruises on my back and I feel like crap, like I have the flu coming on. But apparently if I drink lots of fluid I'll feel a million dollars tomorrow.

The jury is out...I await the verdict tomorrow morning!
;0)
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