PAYE

I started my company 1991, just a short while after Charlie was born. In the last 24 years I've had three VAT inspections but today was my first PAYE inspection. Indeed, up until a few weeks ago, I didn't know such a thing existed.

I was reasonably confident about the whole business, to be honest. The accounting software used to tell us what to pay ourselves and then we handed the payroll over to the accountants. I wasn't sure what else they would be interested in. 

Well, it turned out to be quite a lot actually. There was the question about whether everyone was invited on the days we have pizza in the office, and the fact that I don't write on the back of my receipts, and we paid a quick visit to Google Maps to ensure that when I stay at my friend Mark's house en route to Thetford, it really is on the way, and so on and so forth. I was told that it's not OK to pay on the company credit card if Steve and I meet for breakfast, and that if we are to have a cleaner, she's not to use our hoover.

I have to say that the two HMRC people who conducted the visit were charming and quite scrupulous about paying for their own lunches, and that, actually, the whole visit was a bit more fun than we'd anticipated. I've nothing but praise for them or diligence with which they carried out their task.

But, on the other hand, I couldn't help thinking that HMRC's staff might be more profitably employed looking into the affairs of Amazon, Google, Starbucks, Vodafone, Apple et al. At the end of the visit it seemed that HMRC might owe us £300. Frankly, they can keep it if they'd use it to go after the estimated £120 billion those big companies avoid paying to the government.