What are you looking at?

There are lots of seagulls in Ayr. Sometimes it's like The Birds round here. You need to put you head down and run, preferably with an umbrella up to deter the diving terrors from the skies. From every rooftop, dustbin and lamppost they sit like winged sentries, waiting for an opportunity to swipe your chips or pick up an abandoned picnic sandwich when the rain comes.

I used to see a Brum hard working band (Ark) quite regularly years ago and the bass player once told me that when they were walking along in Brighton once, they only had enough money for a large portion of chips and a saveloy between the four of them. As soon as they unwrapped their dinner, a gigantic seagull swooped down, grabbed the saveloy and flew off! Imagine that! I could hardly believe that tale but laughed all the same. Needless to say, I believe him now. Those birds are seriously scary!

After all I have said, I do quite like them. This chap was sat on that car roof for absolutely ages outside TK MAXX. I got closer and closer, expecting him to fly off but he wasn't bothered at all, almost challenging me - 'What are you looking at?'

Here's a good track for you! It's this century for a change. I don't think this bird could ever be told he's on the wrong beach but here we are.....

The Wrong Beach