"And nothing has changed / Everything has changed"

I didn't sleep, although I nearly did. Comforted by the the bookies' odds and Farage's early concession, I thought I could wrap myself in a Remain-related confidence, and wake to a Britain that was divided but safe.

But I kept looking at my phone and the news wasn't right. I lay awake. In the early hours I found myself wondering about moving my company to Scotland, worrying about which of my friends might be affected by a Brexit win. Around 5am, the Guardian website told me that Remain would win if they had 60% of the  votes left to be declared. That seemed possible. 

Some time after 6am, a farmer on Radio 4 said that he was delighted by the (then declared) win for Leave and that he didn't think it would affect his EU subsidies. It was so bonkers, so stupidly surreal, in fact, that for a happy moment, I wondered if I was dreaming the whole thing.

But I wasn't. And having not slept, the rest of the day was a blur:

- The cascading stock market crash
- The pound falling
- Farage on TV, shamelessly stating that no one should have said that the (allegedly) saved EU money would be spent on the NHS
- Cameron - the coward - resigning
- Johnson saying that he was in no hurry to leave the EU
- Morgan Stanley saying they wouldn't wait for Article 50 before moving 2000 jobs away from London
- The loss of our AAA rating
- The EU not begging us to stay and offering olive branches but, in fact, asking us to go quickly
- Nicole Sturgeon announcing the second referendum on Scottish independence
- Dan Hannan (Vote Leave) stating that they never said there would be a radical decline in immigration.

Look at that list, you Leavers: just what the hell did you think you were voting for? Because I don't think you've got anything except a new, prime minister who only cares about himself.

I spent too much of my day on Facebook, arguing with Leavers who - only now - appeared to be looking at the facts. Tweets and video clips appeared in my timelines of Leavers saying that hadn't realised what might happen if they won. If only we could all vote again tomorrow.

And all day, in my head, a nagging lyric: "And nothing has changed / Everything has changed", which - eventually - I realised was from Bowie's 'Sunday'. My day hasn't been any different from usual in terms of what I've done but around me, in the bigger picture, everything has, indeed, changed. 

Jesus, what a shit year this has turned out to be.