Wish in and hope in

I had to be at the school at a quarter to nine, this morning, which meant getting up early in Chorley, driving home for a shower and a shave, and getting myself out the door promptly enough to give myself time to vote before going in for the mock interviews with Year 10.

A few years ago, I stood as a district councillor and then a county councillor for the Lib Dems - this is pre the Condemnation Years - and I've spent a fair bit of time at our polling station. It's been the same guys operating it for as long as I can remember and, as usual, everything was calm and well organised, this morning.

For the rest of the day, I felt anxious though. My Facebook and Twitter timelines are echo chambers for Remain: Ben Goldacre's pro-Remain piece was being shared and retweeted, as well as a Tweet from Farage in 2010 despairing of an increase in maternity pay. We all comforted ourselves with the fact that the maths showed that Remain was the sensible choice.

Yet one didn't have to stray far from my timeline on Twitter to find the Leave voters and from there it wasn't even a step, just more of a stumble, into blatant racism. It was futile, I know, but I reported a couple of them, just to make myself feel a little better. The anger and venom made me feel sick and shaky, like I'd just been in a confrontation with someone. 

And I felt angry myself, mostly with David Cameron for putting us in this stupid, stupid position. Gove, Johnson, Farage: they're all bad men. Machievellian in their manipulation of those whose hearts are ruling their heads on this most important of matters. But Cameron... I don't know what it is with him. Has there ever been a Prime Minister with less vision, less policy, less care for the country he's supposed to be guiding? 

This evening I saw a friend of mine who voted 'out' (the only one, as far as I know). He was vaguely apologetic. He said he just didn't like the idea of being ruled by Brussels, didn't want unelected people making our laws. I replied that it wasn't quite like that and he replied "No, I know". Like so much of what I've read and heard by 'Brexiters', he knows how he feels and he can't be swayed by (what I believe are) the facts.

In the last election, the Tories got a third of the vote and 331 seats. UKIP had a third as many votes as the Tories yet no seats. Thus they were treated as being of no consequence. If we had proportional representation, then UKIP would have been given 110 seats. Do I think that would be a good thing? No, of course not. But at least then we wouldn't have been able to ignore all of those angry, impassioned voices. They wouldn't have been left to become more angry, to turn to more extreme methods.

God knows what will happen tomorrow. I want to remain in the EU - massively flawed though it is - but whatever happens, Cameron's cavalier approach to this most important of issues will have divided us as a country. It's gone some way to dividing my family, even; my dad can't discuss the issue without becoming upset and angry. He's 'out' for reasons he can't verbalise. Confronted by facts from me and my brother, he becomes uncharacteristically angry. We can't discuss it. (Easier for me, nearly three hundred miles away, than for my brother.)

Cameron should take responsibility for this; whatever the outcome, there is a huge amount of healing required but I don't believe he has the diplomacy or smarts to do it. The can of worms is open, the cats are out of the bag, and I don't know how anyone can begin to sort this out. Practically, maybe spend some of the taxes paid by migrants on schools, hospitals and houses. Maybe ask the EU for some help with that. Because immigrants will keep coming, whatever lies Farage and co tell us about what an out vote will achieve, and I want them to be welcome. We are one world. But people need to understand how this is going to work, how we can live together.

In May 1949, an essay by Albert Einstein was published called 'Why Socialism?'. It's an incredible, insightful piece of writing, but if you don't want to read it all, can I just highlight this part:

"Private capital tends to become concentrated in few hands, partly because of competition among the capitalists, and partly because technological development and the increasing division of labor encourage the formation of larger units of production at the expense of smaller ones. The result of these developments is an oligarchy of private capital the enormous power of which cannot be effectively checked even by a democratically organized political society. This is true since the members of legislative bodies are selected by political parties, largely financed or otherwise influenced by private capitalists who, for all practical purposes, separate the electorate from the legislature. The consequence is that the representatives of the people do not in fact sufficiently protect the interests of the underprivileged sections of the population. Moreover, under existing conditions, private capitalists inevitably control, directly or indirectly, the main sources of information (press, radio, education). It is thus extremely difficult, and indeed in most cases quite impossible, for the individual citizen to come to objective conclusions and to make intelligent use of his political rights."

Just look at that last sentence again: "It is thus extremely difficult, and indeed in most cases quite impossible, for the individual citizen to come to objective conclusions and to make intelligent use of his political rights."

This referendum should never have happened. Leaving Europe, even if it were desirable, is a twenty year project. I hope to God, that we stay in, that we are spared the financial, legal, and cultural disaster of leaving. But either way, I fear that a lot of damage has already been done and I wish I could see how it can be repaired.