Frank

Frank is not the name of the piece of sculpture in today's blip. I don't know what it is, or what it represents, only that I find it strangely appealing and it emits a low sound (sort of like tune up sounds from the bass instruments in an orchestra) from speakers within it. It is huge, and stands in the square (which may or may not be Karlplatz) at the end of the street.

No, today I am Frank. Or rather, being frank, on two fronts.

First is that I'm not sure that I am physically up to this trip. I know it sounds lovely to be swanning around Europe, and in some ways it is. It's also physically quite tiring, dragging a heavy bag around every 2/3 days and walking on days in between for sometimes 6 or 7 hours. I've not done much the past few days, and yet my knees and hips are tender.

Secondly, if you know me, the chances are you're aware of my history of panic attacks and the phantom aches and pains that precede them and occur alongside them. I just realised tonight that I have, for the first time in years, forgotten my brown paper bag. I have at least one in every bag and suitcase at home, but this bag was a new purchase and I must've forgotten...

So, the cause of this reflection is that I am in pain this evening. Not unbearable pain, just some discomfort. I have a sharp pain on my right side, just up and across from my belly button, which goes around to my back. It doesn't hurt all the time, but i'm conscious that it's there. If it's a 'real' pain, then I hope it's nothing more than something twisted which will straighten itself out (rather than a soon to burst appendix or something like that). But here's the thing - I don't kno if it's real or in my head - one of the phantom pains above. In which case a panic attack may be inevitable.

I'm not asking for sympathy - if history is anything to go by, i'll be fine in the morning. I'm just telling you that right now i'm scared and I want to come home.

I'm sorry this isn't an upbeat story today.

x