Bear Necessities

Cameron and I head for the woods, hordes of slobbering crocodiles in front of us, gang of ravenous bears behind. We reach the top of the hill overlooking the river. Cam beats his chest and roars, "I'm not afraid of any bears or crocodiles. Now can we go home and play soccer. I'm Man United, you can be Chelsea . . ."

No way, Cam, this is fun, exercise, adventure and male bonding all rolled into one. One day you'll do similar damage to your grandkids.

So, we stagger up slopes, slide into gullies, paddle through rocky streams, avoiding all the wild animals our imaginations can conjure. We survive, altthough I slip and gash an elbow, while Cam slips and muddies his knees.

Then it's home and soccer. Cam is Barcelona, I'm Horncastle Town. Town wins . . .