Despair

Well the worst happened and I must admit I felt despair for both Americans and the world. In an effort to lift our spirits we went to Cotehele. They have nearly finished making The Garland, 60 ft long and this is its 60th year of being made! I met the woman from the village who works there and was overseeing the photographers there to record the event. Unfortunately this meant she asked after Friend and this brought all the anxieties and emotional disturbance to the fore again that I was trying to let go of. A blip yesterday had made me appraise not only Friends current situation but how she has faced things over the 2 years - and there are many frustrations I feel over that which I try not to get submerged in but are there nonetheless and at present I am finding it hard to keep them away. They make me feel guilty at having them for many reasons so today was a full on emotional upheaval no amount of beauty could assuage. I looked at the natural beauty around me: the  leaves in the Acer garden forming a colourful carpet, the hay bales in the orchard with the last apples on the trees, the winter cyclamen flowering around tree trunks and  the gardeners doing the garland that they have done so many years and was established in Tudor times. I thought how Trump threatens the way of life of so many and the beauty of the natural world so I'm afraid I was just in a negative mood and wished I was home and by myself! No wonder I then got an upset tummy and we went home and I went to bed for several hours! I got up feeling a bit better until Friend messaged to say her feet were swollen - not a good symptom. 
So I think I will just move on from this day and resolve to be more mindful in the days to come - it's no good feeling this way and just leads to more negativity and is a spiral of despair that is pointless and damaging. The wool for my blanket came so tomorrow I will " Keep Calm and Crochet! "