Precision

Managed to get some cable and plugs from B&Q and connected the Xbox to the internet and it worked! The TV however took a bit more effort, despite explaining to Virgin that I have to stand in the street to call them on my mobile as the phone line doesn't seem to work they asked me for the serial number of the V-box to activate it, necessitating me leaving my phone on th estep so that I didn't get cut off, going in the house and pulling the V-box out of its slot in the TV stand, writing down the number and then going back to give it to them, thatnkfull that my phone had not been half-inched whilst I was busy. Then in a jaunty Virgin voice I was asked if I could give them the serial number of the 'Really Smart Card' that was in the V-box!

'You couldn't have asked me for it all at the same time no?'
'No, that is not what the script says, I only follow the script, sorry.'

Still we now have internet and TV. Apparently the phone could take an hour or two to start working.