Major family revelations!!

News headlines

Josh and Alice are engaged! That's pretty awesome news for my nephew because Alice is a keeper and the most organised person in Scotland. Lovely!

Meanwhile his sister has finally got an offer accepted on a des res flat down the beach after months of looking and dealing with stressful bid situations. Success!

Everyday is good news for the dogs when Granda comes to visit, that means its synchronised tail wag, fence jump and treat chomp time. Happiness is food!

And finally (this is an ITV bulletin), Tess has a boyfriend. Dave and I are of course trying to be calm but have only managed to come across as a deranged Victorian couple who have consumed too much sweet sherry. In fact we immediately turned into Mrs Doyle from Father Ted, that episode where she's trying to guess the name of the cleric Ted had bumped into earlier in the episode. And she goes on and on and on.... and so it was with us, and yet it took two full days and the lucky guess of a visitor to guess her boyfriend's name. Sometimes I wonder why Tess hasn't traded her parents in at the parent swap shop yet. I can't see her ever bringing someone home to meet us. When Dave first rang my doorbell when I was a lass, my uncle answered the door and told him I didn't live there but in the house next door. The second time Dave came a calling at my door my dad invited him in with the words "can I get you something, Tea, coffee, cannabis?". Ahh, my Dad, joking even at the strangest of encounters. Dreadlocks!