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Returned from Niagara feeling ill, so stayed in bed while Jools did the shopping and blipping.

"Whatever do they teach kids at school these days," she giggled as she came home and showed me this mall sign outside a sex store. "Never had these shops when I was a student - we had to make our own fun behind the school bikesheds . . . I suppose we'll have to put it down to the march of progress."

My head is throbbing, my mind boggling . . . whatever can she mean?