Dark Lord Valentine

The other day the Smith brothers and I were deploring the fact that after Christmas, the great threat of "calling Santa", this priceless disciplining tool, disappeared the minute the last present was opened.
You can actually milk it for a few more days and threaten to call Santa to come back and take away all the toys, but by then the latter are already broken or have lost 98% of their original appeal.

A kid's life is pretty uncomplicated and is punctuated with colourful events and other oases of joy when they are showered with attention and lavish presents: birthday, Christmas, Easter, etc.

Then today Luca asked: "Daddy, when is Valentine's day?" and I came up with an evil plan.
I created Dark Lord Valentine. It's pretty simple, yet incredibly effective.
Kids who are good get a card from the person they fancy most, with hearts all over and treats and sweets, etc.
Kids who are not good on the other hand... get a visit from Dark Lord Valentine (he lives behind the curtains in the sitting room). On Valentine's night, he creeps into your bedroom while you are asleep, cut your chest open, rips your heart out and offers it to his girlfriend (child psychology is mostly about subtlety I have noticed).
Strangely enough, Luca took a second portion of peas for dinner and he never usually eats them.
I am now working on an Evil Rabid Easter Bunny and a Chain Saw Tooth Fairy.



PS: the above story is obviously a joke created for the sole amusement of Mr Smith (he studies the effect of sleep deprivation on an already barely balanced Raheny Eye) and has never been told to a poor defenceless child. You can put the phone down, no need to call the Head Social Worker in my area, she's given up on me anyway...