The Freak

He has been scrapping and has a sore head. This means he will spend the next day and a half in his bed and eat a weeks worth of food. It is cheaper than a vet bill.

A day coaching rugby in a quagmire.

"sir, my boxer's have got really wet. Have you got any I could borrow?"

No I most certainly have not, I suggested that he go commando - apparently some find it very liberating.

"sir, I cannot do PE today as I have scratches on my toes."

I made the mistake of enquiring how his toes got scratched,

"they just sort of itched a bit, so I gave them bit of a scratch!"

Well ask a stupid question, I mused to myself. I think it unlikely that this lad will ever be running out on to the pitch at Twickenham, kissing the red rose and waving to 80,000 fans.