The Rubber Band Man

Elastic bands. Essential for well-being and harmony throughout much of the universe. To illustrate their all-purpose usefulness, I feel compelled (not for the first time in this here journal) to quote a cantankerous tale from the great Nigel Blackwell:

I picked up all the elastic bands dropped by the postman on my driveway
And took them up to the pub on a Thursday evening
As that's where he likes to go for the quiz
He believes he is needed for the music round
His friends obviously humour him
Anyway, I place myself at a nearby table
And whenever he tries to light up a cigarette
I fire it out of his mouth with one of the elastic bands
Which he finds most annoying
Most annoying

A world without elastic bands would, frankly, not be a world worth living in. In fact, count the number of people in human history who died before they were invented. Now count the number who've died since.

I rest my case.