The Golf Game

I finally did it. I went golfing after maybe a ten year hiatus.

I used to golf about twice a week through the summer. Then...between my shoulder and my cheapness...I stopped. I finally had rotator cuff surgery, but I'm still cheap.

I used to be a mediocre golfer...but I was at least consistently mediocre. I always shot between 46 and 50 for 9 holes. Rarely over...rarely under.

I would love to report that it went smoothly...but... I try not to lie. I carried my clubs, so I wanted as little weight as possible. I thought 15 balls would be plenty. When I got on the 9th tee...I was down to my last ball. 14 BALLS I SACRIFICED TO THE WOODS! Unreal.

Golf is not like riding a bike. The club feels foreign in my hands. Makes me wonder if I ever played. I was spraying so many shots I felt like the Tru-green guy. I even whiffed twice.

Out of the @#$%^& shots I took...I hadn't really nailed one. Until the 9th hole. Using the last ball in the bag...I was lying 2 in the fairway...and I took out my 5 iron. I hit that 5 iron like Laura Baugh in her culottes...I hit that 5 iron like Seve Ballesteros was watching over me...I hit that 5 iron like Tiger Wood's ex-wife hit his Escalade. You get the picture. I really hit it. It whistled out of the grass...rose up into the sky...arcing nicely toward the green. A thing of beauty.

That's what keeps a hacker coming back. That ONE good shot. I'm not sure if it's enough to bring ME back...but we'll see.

The picture I used was of an actual putt. The golfing phrase is..."Never up...never in." You have to get it to the hole. It got to the point where I wasn't even clearing away the leaves. I wished that I had played like an oak. Strong...dependable...steady.

Instead...I think I made Charles Barkley look good.

More golf shots, and some horses are on my Flickr page.