The Day After

Dear O'H dear and Lovely Tea Jenny,

‘We will definitely be there between 8 and 9 am. You are the first appointment of the day’

Or not.

I called Dynotwats Dynorod at 9.30 to enquire as to the whereabouts of the plumber to be told...

‘Ah, he was out really late last night. I’ve been trying to call him but he must be sleeping it off’

I know I should have been annoyed but I actually laughed out loud. Imagine how much easier it would have been in your youth if you hadn’t had to make up lies to cover overindulgence…

‘I’m not hungover. It’s just lack of sleep’

‘You know, I didn’t even have that much to drink. I think I’m actually coming down with something. To be honest, it’s been lingering for a couple of days.’

or in more severe cases (when a full day off is required)…

‘I have a TERRIBLE migraine’

‘I’ve been up all night with a tummy bug. Both ends. Didn’t know which was was going first. You have no idea… Ok then I’ll spare you the gory details…Yes I will just go back to bed’

and for the worst case scenario when minimum conversation is essential* (don’t try this one O’h dear)…

‘These period pains are killing me. OMG It’s just SO heavy’

Looks like that all that effort to cover my social tracks was a waste of time. Just a simple ‘Sorry. No can do. I’m still p1ssed’ would have been all the explanation that was required.

I might organise a MASSIVE night out next week and try this out the following day.

C

*For best results, use on a male manager