Today I had to call one of my oldest friends to share my news.   I feel terrible putting this news on people.   

I had a lovely message from one of the bosses I look after at work.  His mother has been through this recently and is doing really well.   I'm hearing lots of positive stories but I just can't shake off the fear.   

I'm trying to focus at work, sometimes I can, sometimes I can't.  I'm in on Monday and Tuesday, got an MRI on Wednesday and then a results meeting on Friday where it'll all be laid out for me.