oh modern world

ive been anxious the past few days, but ive finally made some decisions which has brought great peace. i also finished my grad school applications and decided to give up on the job search. now i can just relax, study german, have fun, and enjoy my time off from school/life/reality.

i think i shall be back in the states come march. this is also exciting. i think i would be happy anywhere. berlin, chicago, waco...sheffield, if the caldwells would just pay for my existence. so i will just wait for what is in store for march and enjoy february. i am happy to have a grateful heart and not an anxious heart.

i signed up for 2 more weeks of german. i feel good about the decision. ive been learning a lot in this class. not just about the german language. im realising how much i do in fact want to be a teacher. im also noticing what makes for a good teacher and what makes for a bad teacher. my teacher is pretty bad. she lacks patience. she gets angry and yells at us when we dont know the right answers. its pretty unreasonable. while i find it rather upsetting, it has never happened to me so i just let it slide. today it happened to me. i almost kicked off. i was seriously so angry at her. the last thing you want to hear when youre learning a rather difficult language is, "its easy! simple!" i yelled back today when she yelled at me. i feel it takes a lot to anger me to the point of yelling, well done margit. well done.

this is a picture of the Gedächtniskirche in the center of former west-berlin. most of the church was destroyed in WWII except for this tower which is still standing. note that the top is broken off. in 1961 they decided to add onto the remains. they built an octagonal church, as seen on the left in this picture. it is a reinforced concrete structure with blue-colored glass bricks. it is also hideous looking as far as im concerned. this design actually won over a much prettier design. i feel its a mark of the modern world. practical and ugly. the contrast between the old bell tower and this modern church is striking. and disturbing. but hey, at least its reinforced. i prefer the old tower though, even its broken, imperfect condition. oh modern world.