11.020409

CASE NO.: 100127845
ITEM NO.: 11.020409

DATE COLLECTED: 02/04/09
TIME COLLECTED: 11:15 - 11:30 pm
LOCATION OF COLLECTION: kitchen, victim's home
COLLECTED BY: Officer MC

DESCRIPTION OF EVIDENCE:
Ctrl-Shift-M / Apple-Shift-M | Insert Em space

Does chewing gum really cause cancer? Oral cancer, perhaps??

While my parents continue to reiterate this unconfirmed tidbit of cancerphobia, I will continue to chew gum. Not because I love to defy my parents in my wannabe-rebel sort of way, and not because I am not afraid of cancer (quite the opposite), but I am sort of addicted to it.

If I am zonking out at work, I pop one.

After I've settled in a bus seat post-workout, I pop one.

These lil white minty em-space-like rectangulars sure does the trick.

Available at your local Costco in cartons of 12.

TYPE OF OFFENSE: in possession of addiction-forming properties
SUSPECT: excel sugar-free gum in *only the best flavor ever* shiver
VICTIM: one minty fresh mouth