Come into my Parlour said the Spider to the Fly

Arriving early for my 6 monthly dental appointment, I could blip the torture chamber without fear or favour.

At 2pm precisely the search lights went on, as did the blue latex gloves and the mask. The probe was produced and the torture session started. Eyes tightly closed, fists balled in my lap, I tried to distance myself from the poking and searching of every cavity in my mouth. A small X-ray gadget was inserted between tongue and teeth, twice, making me gag, to see if it was possible that a defect lurked unnoticed amongst my molars which might be a money spinning exercise for my dentist.

There was the usual lecture about flossing and those evil little brushes were paraded again for inspection. Red , blue yellow, take your pick depending on whether you think any of them will fit between teeth that seem terraced rather than detached. At last I could flee after handing over £16. It could have been a lot worse.

On my way home I called in at a friend’s to collect a punnet of Victoria plums gathered from her garden. Apparently there has been an abundance of them this year and my goodness don’t they taste delicious and wonderfully ripe.