Proud Weegie

By Shiv

Edinburgh Walks 1

Dreich !

Managed to fit in a lovely walk around the Castle on my way home today. J took me up some little side streets I'd never knew existed! I will be back on a sunny day.

Lots of chat of career moves, futures and taking a chance. I've decided that redundancy is like Maternity leave - but without the sex, stretch marks or delivery (all good then !!).

If you want some other views of Edinburgh you can see them here.

To cheer you all up on such a dreary day - I shall share some Tommy Cooper quotes I received in an email from my sister in Oz this evening...I'm still chuckling !

Phone answering machine message: 'If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key.'

A man recovered in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replied, 'I know, I've cut off your hands'.

Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

'Doc, I can't stop singing: 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'
Doc says, 'That sounds like the Tom Jones Syndrome. '
'Is it common, doc?'
'Well, it's not unusual.'

A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet. 'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?'
'Well,' says the vet, 'let's have a look at him.' and he picks up the dog and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.'
'What? --- because he's cross-eyed?'
'No, because he's really heavy'

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world is Chinese. There are 5 people in my family so one of them must be Chinese. It's either my mum or my Dad --- or my older brother Colin --- or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu --- but I think it's Colin.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' I thought that was nice.

A man walked into the doctor's, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places'
The doctor said, 'Well don't go there any more'

Ireland 's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 2826 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.


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