No more sprouts!

I'm fed up! I know it's my own fault again. I really must stop eating things I find in the street. I'll make it a New Year resolution. I feel so uncomfortable today! Sweets, chocolates and chips never had this effect on me.

I saw an old biddy struggling at the bus stop by Morrisons yesterday with all her shopping and I thought it was Christmas when I saw her drop a bag of sprouts! I've always been told to eat plenty of greens ever since I was an egg so I thought I was doing a good thing.

Maybe eating the whole bag was a bit excessive. I've been farting so much no one wants to stand near me on the wall. I'm blown up with all the wind, so much so that people think I'm a turkey which is a dangerous thing to be at this time of year. That woman with the bread and camera threw loads of bread at me earlier and half it went up my arse! I swear she's trying to stuff me while I'm still alive!

Track? Something from WISHBONE Ash as it's Christmas with a windy theme for me - Blowin' Free