Tired, slow, peaceful.

I am now suffering mild sleep-deprivation. Charley's fever has finally broken but he still woke up at 4am and screamed and I do not know why. He fell asleep being cuddled to nurse rather than just lying next to me. I felt so useless and helpless, in a different house, not knowing where the lightswitch was or my glasses, in almost total darkness, remembering I'd brought the kiddie brufen but no spoons or syringes, wondering why Charley was screaming, why he wouldn't nurse, why he was biting. And then he fell asleep with me sitting up sobbing.

And then Ben was sick from coughing so much this morning. And Steve is poorly.

I'm tired...

But at least Ben is entertaining and being entertained by his Gran and Grandad, Charley is getting to know them a bit more, and there is paracetamol and (now we've popped to the shop) decaf tea.

We'll survive the day.

Did find some lovely winter boots in the shop only to discover there were none left in my size, so may have to fork out a little more and get them at their none-sale price, but they are North Face and ought to last me a good few years if I can find any elsewhere. Have kinda fallen in love with them :-/ Really hard to find gorgeous boots with properly flat soles!

Had a visit from Auntie Joan this afternoon so Ben has been in his element :) Worn out though, came up to bed, settled instantly, asleep in ten minutes. I like that. Don't like that Charley couldn't settle though, couldn't stay asleep - kept waking with screeching, like he was utterly utterly fed up of hurting. So he's been asleep on my lap downstairs this evening, having had a spoonful of paracetamol. Poor kid.

And I'm realising that my blipping habit is evolving again. These days it's much more about the journal itself than the photograph. I've written this whole entry and realised I've not taken a single photograph all day, not even a poor snapshot. (So obviously I'll attempt to remedy that before midnight!) I think part of it is general tiredness. My journal is about life with my boys rather than a photography showcase - my camera is on its last legs and only gets used for stock photos for my work now and on rare occasions when the light is good for pictures of the boys. But focussing problems mean it doesn't cope very well so I don't use it much. And today I've just had enough energy to manage living, without snapping too! And that's all it would have been, snapping... and I don't like just snapping. I want to have decent pictures of Charley, just like we have gorgeous ones of Ben - and I don't get that using my phone camera. And so I'm reluctant to take pictures at all... Maybe I need to get another little Lumix or something...