A thoroughly awful day.
I’m not entirely sure why, other than all the cumulative accretion, the accumulation of all the sediments and silt from upstream.
I felt dead. A dead woman walking, or sitting, in my case. All day, in one of my windowless rooms, although a quieter day, but that just meant an opportunity for the floodgates to be opened upstream and I spent much of the day in tears, just unable to stop until the moments I had to, only to resume again. I’d have been perfectly happy to join the flooded river outside and just flow on downstream.

Emily says it better....
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45706/i-felt-a-funeral-in-my-brain-340

I just wanted to retreat home and hide but I got an email from my friend asking if I wanted to go the pictures with her and her husband after work. Much as I didn’t feel like it and felt I would be entirely incapable of being able to utter a word of conversation I did go. I know that the world just closes down otherwise.