do we not sail on the ship of fools

Captains Log Broad Adventure Date numero deu

Number 49 (I got demoted again) due to panic attack in middle of night.  Enclosed spaces are not good.  Dark enclosed spaces are worse.

I was against the wall of bed; Captain was alongside.    Fell asleep instantly.  Woke maybe 45 Minutes later; pitch black, face against the wall.  

I knew where I was but I couldn’t calm
Myself.   I did a commando roll Over the top of Captain and said. I’m Going and he didn’t stop me.

I took my pillow and a blanket and slept quite happily in the wheelhouse.

At seven thirty Number 1, First Lieutenant Tooli got up and said ‘why are you sleeping here....  she moans when we have sex; she moans if she thinks we aren’t going to have sex...

Himself got up and smiled at us... he had a lovely sleep!

We had breakfast, looked at the swans and set off....

To be followed by a whole fecking load of boats going toooo fast.

We tried to pull over to let them past and nearly run aground but still they shot past even into the path of oncoming boats.

Eventually we reached a berth and stopped and had sweet tea for shock while I went and complained to the broad traffic warden.

Then we walked 10,000 steps (I had no bloody intention of walking on this holiday but there you go) ...

We came back to boat to face next challenge - 1.  Extracting boat from
Berth after some other half wit crashed parked against us.  And then 2.  Navigating a forking bridge.

Tooli let off the ropes and capt Si screamed ‘reverse , forward, reverse, as I repeatedly rammed half wits boat.  He asked if we wanted a push and we said mildly ‘yes please’

I took the wheel for the bridge and pulled faces at the fishermen on the bank who very kindly gave me a thumbs up.   Fifteen breath holds later we were through!!

And then more trauma.  

People who sailed the same speed as us.

People who sailed too fast.

Sailing boats who have the right of way.

A t-junction where we gave someone the right of way but then next boats refused to yield for us.... so I just went;  too fast and nipped in. Which resulted in five boats cutting us up.

Eventually we lost all the idiots and we headed on our way to a berth.  We intended going under another bridge where a pilot would do the duty.

I phoned him and he said ‘sorry no one getting under tonight. Water toooo high.

Thankfully we found a ‘quiet berth’ and we pulled in alongside.  Tooli and Himsef did the honours with the ropes whilst I rammed first the front and then the back of the boat against the side.

The water monitor - as I like to call him, said it would get easier....

Pah!  Pah!!

I’m already seeking travel lodges



This was Ludham Bridge