Awful Day

What an awful day, neither Clare or I slept well, our much loved family member, our dog Gussie, deteriorated overnight night. We are not exactly how long we have had her and therefore not exactly how old she is.
By our best reckoning she came into our lives as a puppy in early 2005 which would make her probably 16 and which puts her at around her late nineties early centurion, a grand age, but it was never going to be long enough for us.
She has been, and is a, much loved member of our family and we are devastated at losing her, our son Joshua, will be particularly hard hit, 700+ miles away and unable to say his goodbyes.

She brought so much joy and fun into our lives and has been here for all the events of that period, muscling in on the photos, letting everyone know she was there.

For a short period we had two dogs and young Gussie, as she was then, was caring and tolerant towards Amy our rescue greyhound, sharing one bed, food and companionship.

She was a link to Clare’s Mum and my parents who thought her wonderful and sneaked her titbits from the dining table and treats when they thought we weren’t looking.

An ever present in Samantha and Joshua’s lives, they grew up alongside her, Gussie slept with them, often trotting between bedrooms at night. When they went off to uni and the Army Gussie would be miserable on departure day but overjoyed at their return.

With Clare working, Samantha away at university and Joshua in the Army on my retirement it became just Gussie and I during the day, we got to walk more, spend more time sleeping together in the sun in the back garden me in a chair, Gussie gently cooking on the steel manhole cover. Having breakfast together, she always had one of the small dog ‘deli’ sausages, I had what ever took my fancy with the odd tail end of a sausage or a bit of bacon ‘dropped’ for her. She loved cheese, a little bit of cheddar now and again but my favourite was watching her with a monkey nut. Gently holding it between her front paws she would nibble the top of shell of and then turning it over get the nuts out and eat them, she loved them and we loved watching.

As the COVID lockdown arrived she became my sole companion whilst Clare worked, we walked together, ate at the same times and slept together, me under the duvet Gussie on top taking up as much room as a she needed.
I shall miss her barking at me after I had finished my meal and still sat at the dining room table, she knew it was her turn for a biscuit.

The post lady and paper boy will miss her, with age came tolerance she gradually went from hackles raised, teeth bared to lifting an ear and tolerantly looking out of the window.
No more will I see her standing on her hind legs looking over the back of the chair out of the front window at the world passing by, passers by in the rear utility lane can walk past now without getting a good barking at from the gap under the back gate.

She will no longer come on our camping trips where she never slept in her basket and was full of energy and I’ll miss her on our beach days. There will be no more climbing up the front of Joshuas dressing gown and down the sleeve whilst he was wearing it, no more nose prints on Samanthas bedroom window as she surveyed the road and barked at the seagulls.

It’s never an easy decision and I thought that I couldn’t make myself take that last trip to the Vets with Gussie, but along with Clare and Sam I did it, I owed her that much she gave everything, everyday to this family but now I am distraught at the loss of my friend and companion, when I close my eyes I can see her all those years ago running into the house for the first time and jumping onto my lap, she captured my heart.

We have filled her last day with us with love, laughter, care and fun and I know the grief I feel now, and it is real grief, will pass in time but today it’s raw and will be worse tonight when she’s not on the bed sleeping with us.

Farewell old friend, you are loved and missed.