And now for a party political broadcast from...

Pigeon 1: We are here as representatives of the Pigeon's Lifestyle Overeating Party (also known as P.L.O.P.) and are complaining about the food and warning of an imminent strike..

Pigeon 2: Pssst! Cyril!

Pigeon 1: Errrr...excuse me.. (muttering) .. What is it Daphne?! Can't you see I'm busy making a deal here? SHUT IT!
..... (continuing)..
What I was trying to say before my colleague rudely interrupted me was that we are not prepared to accept meal worms or withdrawal of the water dish for standing on....

Pigeon 2: AAAAARRRRGGGHHH! I don't like sitting here! I think a meal worm has bitten my arse!

Pigeon 1: Don't be so f***ing stupid! They are dead meal worms! They won't hurt you!

Pigeon 2: Well you sit here then! These things are moving about!

Pigeon 1: (getting cross) After you philandering with a frog for the last week just to get his nuts, I'm surprised you even notice! You are a pigeon tart!

Pigeon 2: *$#@@@@@ !!!!&&££***********!!!!!!!!$$$$$$$¥¥¥¥&&&&****!!!!, *$#@@@@@ !!!!&&££***********!!!!!!!!$$$$$$$¥¥¥¥&&&&****!!!!, ???*$#@@@@@ !!!!&&££***********!!!!!!!!$$$$$$$¥¥¥¥&&&&****!!!!.......

SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK

Voice over man: Errrrrrm....due to an unforeseen technical hitch, tonight's party political broadcast by P.L.O.P have been abandoned.

Track? Here's a soothing track by Gary Moore - Murder in the Skies