Faking It

Dear O'H dear & Lovely Tea Jenny,

I hung out all day with Lovely Shuvly’s - mainly because I like hanging with Lovely Shuvly and her 4 dogs but also because there was no way I was driving home until evening after such a late night!

Lovely Shuvly used to work in a sales team and she was telling stories about some of her old colleagues. Mainly about them getting fired.

There were a couple of guys who were caught putting ladies of the night through their expenses but the most insane story was about Glen.

Glen told one of his mates to apply to the company as she would be guaranteed a job, but unfortunately she was rejected after her interview.

Glen felt really bad and decided to fix the situation. He was confident that he was imminently going to get a promotion to a management position and he would be personally be able to re-interview his mate and hire her.

But what to do in the meantime? Most normal people would have just waited but Glen decided to grab the bull by the horns and…

* Borrowed £10,000 from a client by pretending his brother had cancer and needed money for treatment in America.

* Faked a letter from the director offering her an alternative position in the company.

* Pretended that his company car was in the garage and managed to get another one to use in the meantime.

* Acquired another work laptop and phone (it was a long time ago and some of the work processes were “a bit lax”)

* Took her to genuine appointments “to shadow him”.

* Set up sagepay to pay her from the £10,000 he’d borrowed.

All was going to plan.

Except he didn’t get the promotion…and when he went on holiday (2 months later), he forgot to pay her.

So it was a very interesting conversation when she called HR to ask why she hadn’t been paid, only to find out that despite having a phone, laptop and car, she didn’t actually have a job. She ended up getting a pay off and Glen got a shiny new P45.

Makes nicking the odd post it pad seem pretty irrelevant!

C