No sudden movements, please!

Oh dear! I've overdone it again and eaten my body weight in food! This is a fine balancing act, you know? I can't move in either direction without being in serious risk of toppling over.

That happened to my cousin Fiona a couple of years ago. She landed on her head with her legs in the air and was taken advantage of by a passing seagull near TK Maxx in Ayr! You should have heard the racket she made putting those eggs out! She hasn't been able to walk straight since and as for those babies, they were a very odd looking crowd with their beady eyes and gigantic plops. As for Fiona, she has developed a peculiar fondness for ...ahem...how do I word this delicately....BIGGER birds! *...shuffling feathers with a disapproving sniff.....*

I shall just sit - yes I did say SIT, you cheeky young whippersnapper - and wait for my belly to go down a little.

Track? Sorry this is a bit of a rush today as I'm off out for a pint or three of Guinness as it's a bank holiday! Let's have a bit of Joe Bonamassa taking it slow for the pigeon - Slow Train