Sing A Song

I’ve been doing pantomime for twenty eight years and never, in all that time, have I been allowed to sing a song on my own. I have been reluctantly allowed to join in on a few ensemble numbers, but that’s it. But this year, when my character has a hump and a speech impediment, I have been given a song where I get to do all the verses, with only a bit of help on backing vocals from the rest of the cast. Upon querying how I should approach the song - given that I can’t carry a tune in a bucket - I was told to think “My Fair Lady” and channel my inner Rex Harrison. But with a lisp. No pressure then.
The Director has emailed me the karaoke track to practice with, and I am trying to learn not only the words, but also the timing, as there will be no screen with highlighted words to follow on the night.
I am both looking forward to, and dreading, performing the song. Looking forward to it because I think there’s a lot of fun to be had whilst performing it. Dreading it because there are a lot of opportunities for it to go badly wrong. But at least it’s Panto, so even if I do cock it up badly we can make a joke of it!
I’m not saying what song I’m doing - if you know your music you should be able to identify it from the lyrics in the photo. Answers on a postcard to the usual address!